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Sober From Clutter - Part 3 Self Help Articles | October 20, 2002 Sober From Clutter - Part ThreeBy: Janet L. ... heard the old saying, " The best gift to give someone is ... you would like or buy for ... WRONG! We are ... and we each ha
Sober From Clutter - Part Three By: Janet L. Hall
You've heard the old saying Alex Iwobi Arsenal Jersey , " The best gift to give someone is something you would like or buy for yourself." WRONG! We are individuals, and we each have our own personal style, wants, desires, and needs.
But it can be so wonderful to receive a gift! Especially if the gift is something you've been yearning for or needing.
And one should always accept gifts and give gifts FREELY.... without any strings attached.
If a gift giver gives you a gift, FREELY Ainsley Maitland-Niles Arsenal Jersey , then it belongs to you and only you. You can do with it whatever you want! It's yours; you own it now. It's now your property!
But on the other hand, if the gift giver gives you a gift with strings attached, then they really didn't give you a gift.
You know your gift has strings attached if the gift giver:
>>Expects you to keep it forever. >>Expects to see you enjoying, using, or displaying their gift. >>Asks, "Where is such and such?" >>Asks Aaron Ramsey Arsenal Jersey , "Why don't I ever see you using such and such?"
Instead of a gift, they've given you fear, guilt, and a burden that you must keep their gift, carry it around, and display it.
Many fear they must hang onto gifts given to them. Even if never used. Even if they don't like it. Even if it doesn't fit their needs. Fearing by giving it away they will betray the gift giver...guilt! So they continue to hang onto those gifts Yaya Sanogo Jersey , even if that person is no longer in their life! Oh the power they have over you.
Many times, as we get older, it's hard for others to know what to give us. Especially if you just tell them, "nothing," or "I really don't need anything," when asked what you'd like.
With responses like that the gift giver has no way of knowing what you really want. And besides that Wojciech Szczesny Jersey , it puts them in an awkward position--What to buy you!
So the gift giver buys you what THEY believe you might like or need, trying to please you, and by the way, spending their hard-earned money on a "special" gift for you. Their perception of what you'd like or could use is their personal belief - not yours. Again, look at how much power you are giving a gift giver when you don't tell them what you really want!
Terry Cole-Whittaker states in her book, "What You Think Of Me is None of My Business Theo Walcott Jersey ," that there are only two types of guilt: "...real guilt and false guilt. False guilt is that guilt which is laid upon you by others in their efforts to control you and to make you responsible for their lives....Guilt-false or real-is a personal burden, it creates a vicious circle. To free yourself of guilt, you lay it on to others, who, in turn, give it back Shkodran Mustafi Jersey , and so on and on."
If you give away something that was given to you, and then the gift giver makes you feel guilty, this is false guilt, in the sense that you didn't do anything wrong by not using, displaying, or giving the gift away that you should feel guilty about. It became your property Sead Kolasinac Jersey , to do with what you want if given to you freely, when given to you. Period!
The next time a gift giver asks why they don't see their gift or you ever using it, then you'll know the gift wasn't given FREELY.